Wakanda Forever Gave Us Permission to Grieve

(Spoiler free!)

While the first Black Panther movie showed us a world of Black folks thriving, this sequel showed us something just as important.

Wakanda Forever is the sequel to the movie Black Panther. Many fans of the movie were curious to see how they would deal with the fact that the actor who plays the main character King T’Challa, Chadwick Boseman, passed away before he could reprise his role in the second installment.

Without giving away any major spoilers, Wakanda Forever not only beautifully honored the major loss of Chadwick Boseman in the film, but they created a different type of world this time. They created a world where Black and Brown folks are able to make space for their grief and showed us how to do that.

We’re allowed to feel.

A lot of the characters in Wakanda Forever had to deal with grief. Some were angry, others were sad, there were even feelings of guilt and loneliness that were expressed. And while there were major losses in the form of people, other losses like identity, a physical home, and innocence were just a few of the losses portrayed in the film.

Oftentimes, those of us who have come from Black and Brown households don’t give ourselves permission to feel too much. We’re taught to prioritize productivity over processing because that’s how past generations survived through unthinkable situations.

But all of these feelings are valid, especially when dealing with a loss. You may feel different things in different places in your body, one place in particular, or it may not have even hit yet. The waves of emotion can come crashing down hard. Sometimes the thought of feeling all of our emotions scares us because we don’t know if we’ll survive it. But you won’t be able to move through it if you don’t allow the grief to exist. Give yourself a whole lot of compassion and time to process it. 

We’re allowed to lean on others.

Shuri was approached time and time again by people in her support system. They checked on her. They encouraged her to process her emotions. They gave her counsel when they knew she was struggling. They physically held her up. And even though she didn’t always receive their support in the moment, when she was ready to lean on her loved ones, they were there for her.

We’re told to deal with things on our own. And while that is unfortunately our reality sometimes, it doesn’t always have to be.

It’s okay to not keep it together. And if you’re someone who needs to be strong for others, find the people you don’t have to be strong with. Leaning on someone is okay. Needing someone during a difficult time is okay. Asking for help is okay. It will help you heal. And it will help you remember that you are loved, and there are people who still care about you.

We’re allowed to honor them in a way that works for us.

In the movie, there were notable people missing from traditional funeral processes and went about recognizing their loss in a way that not only honored the person, but would have been what that person wanted.

There have been funerals I haven’t gone to. And people have been upset at me or questioned me for it. But I knew that I needed to honor those people in my own way and I was confident that what I did to recognize their loss was what they would have wanted.

Creating a personal ritual is a beautiful way to recognize something or someone that is no longer with us. Let go of the notion that you have to grieve in a way that makes others comfortable. They are not you and they are not the ones who have to deal with how this loss personally affects you. Recognize the loss in a way that is authentic to you and honors the person how you think they’d want to be remembered by you.

We’re allowed to hope.

It took some characters longer than others, but the movie ended with hope. It ended not necessarily saying things were going to be the same, but that moving forward can be possible and light can come back into your life in a different way.

It’s okay to smile. It’s okay to laugh. It’s okay to keep living. Sometimes guilt can set in for feeling like you haven’t done enough to reflect on your loss. Find ways in your daily routine to intentionally think about it. It’s okay to try different things out to see what helps. And it’s okay to enjoy this new part.

Getting re-acclimated to life without who or what you’ve lost will take time. Grief is not something you can just “complete”. I personally am still grieving losses I experienced years ago. But what this movie reminded me of is that each person has a grieving journey for each experienced loss. And you are allowed to experience it all wholeheartedly.

My favorite quote about loss actually comes from another Marvel entity, the show Wandavision.

“But what is grief, if not love persevering.”

Let your love persevere. Relish in the time spent and memories involved. And let those around you remind you that there is still beauty and love in your life.

Thanks for getting A Little Mental with me.