How to Actually Take a Break (Without Being Anxious About it)

When we take vacations, or have breaks from school and work, sometimes they can give us a range of thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming because you want to get so much done. Other times, we can underestimate the opportunity it gives us to relax. Regardless of how you feel, there can always be some anxiety around the whole concept, and nothing you want to have happen actually gets done. So let’s talk about how to try and stop that spiral before it even begins.

The way I like to think about resting and breaks is like flying on an airplane. So let’s break this analogy down into 6 parts:

1 ) Itinerary:

Where are you going? Who are you going with? How much is it going to cost? What are you planning on doing? How much grace are you going to give yourself when things don’t go as planned?

I’m a planner, so answering these questions actually makes me calmer. But not everyone feels the same way and that’s okay! Part of being on a break is leaning into your most authentic self. So at a minimum, set some general goal, boundary, and grace markers. You may not hit all of these on the mark but when do we ever? Just bring awareness to them and hold space for them throughout your break.

2 ) Runway

This is the area I always have trouble with because it’s really where my anxiety spikes. Before you can do anything you have to try and map out what it will take for you to get to the place you want to be (physically, emotionally, mentally, etc). You have to give yourself enough time to properly prepare for your break and to properly come back from your break. 

What is the bare minimum you need to accomplish in order for you to feel good about going on a break? For me it’s usually clearing my inbox and letting people know I’m going on a break. It also means cleaning my work and/or home environment so when I come back it feels like a fresh start.

What do you expect to come back to that gives you a bit of anxiety and how can you plan now to deal with it later? Sometimes, I can’t get everything I want to accomplish completed before break, due to depleted time and energy. So, I aim to use a day or two before my break officially ends to do a few planned things that will make me feel better about transitioning back into the grind.

3 ) Lift Off

Who do you need in order to achieve a clean break? What supports will help you get to where you need to be? What parameters/boundaries are in place so when you get into your break you’re not tempted to come out of it by situations that aren’t as urgent as they’re portrayed to be? The answers to these questions will help you feel good about finally getting to a point where you can exhale. 

4 ) Cruising Altitude

Great! You’re officially on break! Relax a little, sleep in, eat what makes you happy, and spend time with who you’d like. But, even though we want to be all in, life doesn’t always allow us to clock out. Part of avoiding anxiety is being honest enough with yourself to know how much of a break you’re actually going to allow yourself to have. Will you need to apply to something before the end of break? Is being around family really going to feel relaxing to you? Are you going to check your work email even though you already put an out of office response on there? All of those answers can inform the reality of what a break looks like for you. Push yourself to lean into something that relaxes you, but don’t give yourself more anxiety by acting like the answers to those questions don’t matter.

5 ) Landing

Reaching the end of a break isn’t often something that makes people excited. It means coming to terms with reality and all the things that come with your typical environment. But, feeling content with how you spent your time and getting back into your daily routine with renewed energy is a great result of your break. Before you officially jump back in, check on your runway and see if there are any adjustments that need to be made to make the transition easier. 

6 ) Unpacking

Unpacking your belongings after traveling is always a pretty undesirable task but it’s crucial to fully returning to working capacity. Mental and emotional unpacking of your experience is just as important. What were some high points? What were the low points? Did you give yourself enough of a runway both ways? Are you bringing something back with you that you’re excited about or something that may change your outlook on your typical environment? Reflecting on your break will help you learn to take even better breaks in the future and will bring awareness to what you’re bringing into that first day back.

Above all, resting is important. It’s okay if it doesn’t look perfect or turn out the way you planned. Like everything in life, rest takes practice. I hope you’re able to achieve a sense of calm and peace during your time off, even if it’s for only a moment.

Thanks for getting A Little Mental with me!