Life Lessons: 3 Things I Learned in the Happiest Country in the World
When I was in college, I was able to study abroad the summer before my senior year. While everybody else was going to places like Spain, Italy, and England, I ended up doing a program in Copenhagen, Denmark. If that sounds a bit obscure, that’s because it was. Being a black girl in a nordic land was not exactly what I pictured when I thought about impactful study abroad experiences. But, Denmark was often named one of the happiest places in the world, so I was excited to see if that ranking actually held up to be true. And here’s what I learned:
1. Hygge > Happiness
When you actually ask a Dane about their country’s happiness ranking, they don’t claim it. They refer to another emotional state that they actually strive for before happiness - Hygge. Remember Hakuna Matata? Well Hygge is kinda like the Danish version of that philosophy. Hygge refers to those moments when you feel a sense of contentment. Those moments when you curl up with a good book, you connect with an old friend, or that first taste of a warm drink on a cool day. When you just, well, feel good.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure if those of us in America had access to universal healthcare, extensive parental leave, free education, pension, and low rates of homelessness, we’d consider the resulting emotion as happiness.
But it taught me about the difference between the two emotions. Sure, happiness is a great thing to experience, but it’s an elevated emotion. We know psychologically, if someone stays at an elevated emotion (regardless of it being positive or negative) it has consequences. At some point, you have to equal out a bit. Contentment is like creating that feel good sensation at a deeper level, allowing it to last longer.
When you appreciate and find gratitude in small aspects of everyday life, it makes everything a little better instead of having high satisfaction in one area for a particular moment in time.
2. Mindfulness is key
I didn’t really know what mindfulness was until I lived in Denmark. Everything there was calmer and slower than what I was used to. I was able to take advantage of that environment and really lean into what mindfulness is, which is to bring attention to your current state and accept your thoughts and emotions as they are. I became more thoughtful and I grew to be more intentional with my movements. From soaking in my surroundings while riding the bus, to finding my own personal peace while riding my bike 20 minutes to the nearest body of water, I realized the importance of stillness and reflection. I knew life wouldn’t always be that quaint, but I took the moments I had and tried to make the most of them. Even now, when life is going 100 miles/hour, I try to tap into that stillness, even for a moment, to ground myself. That reset, no matter how quick, is what ends up helping me push forward.
3. Being alone is healthy
I didn’t know a soul when I went to Denmark, and I embraced it. While I met great people and had amazing adventures with them, I also made it a point to try and do things on my own. I was able to do a lot of thinking and as a result, I learned more about who I was. I recognized my self talk and I learned to be nice to myself. So often, I think, we busy ourselves because we're scared of our own thoughts. But what if we took that energy in building up that wall, and used it to change the narrative we have about ourselves? It's not an easy process and I'm still working at it years later. But, when you put in that type of internal work, you begin to appreciate yourself, the experiences you have, and learn to find your Hygge in the smallest of moments.
Denmark will always hold a special place in my heart because it was a turning point for me. It was kind of like a training ground to learn tools and strategies on how to find happiness and Hygge in life. I also recognize the privilege that comes from being able to have that experience. But I realized when I came back, I didn’t need to go halfway around the world to learn these things. The irony is I can use everyday life to achieve those same feelings. Is it always going to work? No. Will it make life perfect? No. But it helps it become a little less worse. And that’s a start.
Thanks for getting A Little Mental with me!
