Life Lessons: 5 Things I Learned in Boating School aka College

College can sometimes feel like Spongebob’s relationship with boating school - never ending and seemingly useless. And when you graduate from college or even while you’re still there, questions start flying in from all sides that others ask you and you may even ask yourself:

“Why am I even here?

“What am I even qualified to do?”

“Have I actually learned anything or did I just fake my way through four years of an education?”

If you’re having those same questions pop up, especially now for my pandemic-educated friends, let me say it for you - You are learning. And not just in the classroom. Some of the most impactful lessons I learned weren’t on a syllabus. Imposter syndrome - the feeling that you don’t belong somewhere or aren’t qualified/deserving enough to do something - is real while you’re in college (and life). But, what helped me feel more satisfied with my time there is that I tried to focus on other knowledge acquired through those four years - knowledge about myself. Let’s look at some questions that you may have already have answers for, or may still be learning.

1. When are you most productive?

Ohh I learned the answer to this question the hard way! I found out that I can only study certain things with certain people. Writing papers required me to be by myself free from distraction. I can’t study to music I want to bop to. I am at my worst when I stay up til 3am but I actually worked best when I woke up at 5 or 6am. It took me my entire college career to realize all this, and then buckle down to actually do it. Just because something is good for you doesn’t mean you actually wanna do it. It takes discipline and experimentation to get to where you are your best self.

2. What do you like?

No, I didn’t ask what your major was. What are you passionate about? What do you sacrifice your time for? When did you actually want to do the readings for a class? What do wish you had time for? What are the moments you look for throughout the day? The answers to these questions will help you find your calling and your authentic future goals. Pay attention to them.

3. What does a friend look like?

A lot of people say that the friends you make in college are the friends you have for life. While that’s nice, it’s not always true. I had people who I was super close to all four years and as soon as we graduated, we drifted. Whereas there are some people who I might not have been best friends with, but they are people I rely on now more than ever. And then I have the people who haven’t left my side since Day 1. I like to say people in your life are there for a reason and a season. Take advantage of all the connections you make but learn from them. What about these people draws you to them? Who pushes you in a good way? Who pressures you in a bad way? The more honest you are with yourself, the better network and support system you’ll have moving forward.

4. What are your limits?

This is the part where the celebrities and business moguls say failure leads you to success. These lessons aren’t ever fun to learn but they are crucial for you and your future journey. Where were you stretched to your last straw? Where did you break down? What caused you to burn out? This could mean physically, emotionally, intellectually, and/or relationally. Knowing your limits helps you set up your boundaries for yourself and for others. Know your bottom line so others don’t try to draw it for you.

5. What are the hard lessons you’ve learned?

This is also in the family of limits and failures. What were the mistakes? What are the woulda, shoulda, coulda’s? It’s okay to have those, but it’s important to reflect on them. Some of my biggest mistakes in college are those flashing warning signs that pop in my head now when I know I’m going down a path that may not be in my best interest. Behaviors and habits are difficult to modify, but hard lessons are the points in your journey where you can make those changes. 

Of course, you may not have answers to any of these questions yet. That. Is. Okay. The most important thing about all this is that you start to recognize that simple fact and begin your search for these answers. And you never stop looking for these answers because as life goes on you evolve. But in order to grow, you have to be able to self-reflect and know where you are in that moment. So take some time to reflect on these questions. Try writing down your experiences. Go on walks and take voice notes about what you’re thinking. Then, go back and revisit these moments and see how far you’ve come and where you’ve gone since.

You’ll get through it. You are not alone.

Thanks for getting A Little Mental with me!